Hash Hints
or How to Set a Great Hash Run and be the Envy
of Past Hashers
Rule
#1
You can set a hash by
yourself but it is a lot of work. Find a good looking member of the
opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer) to help you set the trail.
Make sure he/she/it is an experience hare, physically fit and
willing to pay for everything.
Rule#2
Geography- Above all, a hash must include, if at all
possible, as many of the following as possible: mud, hills, water
(rivers or sewage), trees, bushes, brambles, hedges, long grass,
garbage, cow sh-t, donkey sh-t, horse sh-t, etc. etc.
The point
of hash is to have fun before, during and especially after the run.
The inevitable lousy directions to the site of the On-On should take
care of having fun on the way there, the fun after is taken care of
by Presidente so concentrate on the run it self. Trudging through
dense brush, mosquitoes, across a stream and up hill only to be
confronted with a short stroll through a rubbish pile is considered
fun by hashers - so let them have it with both barrels! One note
here on private property - while most people don't mind a few
hashers strolling across their cow pasture, they might object to us
stomping through their flower gardens - get permission
FIRST!!
Rule
#3
Safety - you may note
that in rule #1 it is quiet clearly stated that elevations("hills")
make a good hash run. Those instructions were not meant to encourage
you to set the run up (or Down) cliffs or steep ravens. Similarly,
do not ask hashers to ford large, rocks strewn rivers. Barbed wire
is often unavoidable but should be clearly marked for front running
bast--ds to avoid. Try to avoid dogs, angry bulls,rabid pigs, lions,
tigers, and charging female hippopotami in full estrus. If there are
some potential dangers on your course please remember to warn
everyone before the run begins.
Rule#4
Trail Marking - what you use to mark the trail is up
to your imagination, just make sure it is biodegradable within the
next few centuries ( for example extra-Cheezy Pringles Chips are NOT
considered appropriate for marking trails - although I understand
they do glow in the dark). Some materials commonly used include
shredded paper, flour, toilet paper, red beans or orange lentils.
You try to make your trail easily viable. Do not try to confuse the
hashers with your markings - they are in that condition naturally!
Use generous amounts of your marking material; mark frequently (at
least every 50 m.) Try to keep marks consistent in location (always
on the right or left, always up in trees, etc.); and try to indicate
the direction of the trail at intersections and road crossings very
clearly.
Rule
#5
Checks, Re-
Groups, False trails, etc. - this is the most difficult part of
setting a good hash run. You must utilize all aspects of the
geography of the trail, take into account the physical (and menial )
fitness of the hashers and then try to screw up everybody as much as
possible. The objective of these special marks on the trail is to
keep the front running bast--d confused and slowed down enough for
the rest of us more reasonable athletes to catch up. A few well
placed Checks and a false trail or two can accomplish this
objective. Here is a list of some common marks, what they mean and
how to set them properly.
 False trails: if
you want to incur the wrath of front runners then put a few of these
on your trail. The best place is at the top or bottom of a hill. The
idea of a false trail is to get as many front runners as possible to
expend huge amounts of energy running in totally the wrong
direction. They will turn around (cursing you vociferously) and
return back up (or down) the trail looking for the real trail. These
marks are also used in conjunction with various "checks" described
below.
 Checks: this is the most common mark, used
when there is a fork in the trail or an intersection and you want
the front runners to spend about 5 minutes determining which way the
real trail is heading.
 Re-Group: this mark ( not frequently used
here) is a regular type check with a special rule. No one is allowed
to look for the real trail until everyone has caught up. This is the
easiest way to keep everyone together on the run and should be used
sparingly. Like regular checks there should be multiple checks from
this check.
Back Checks: this check means for the
runners to go back to the last normal trail marked and look for
another trail in another direction. This mark is used by hares who
find themselves in dead end streets or faced with angry landowners
with a gun.
 Beer Checks:the most popular form of check
and utilized too seldom (in
my thirsty opinion). This type of
check is logistically difficult as keeping beer safely hidden away
(and cold) from the time you set the hash until the idiot runners
arrive is a bit of a challenge. In Antigua, with our ubiquitous
Colmados, this type of check could be incorporated more often.
Remember most hashers do not carry cash with them when they run and
as the hare.....
Rule #6
Distance -
rather than distance, concern your self with time. A good hash is an
hour walk or run - we are out for the EXERCISE after all. Besides
the beer gets colder that way. A general rule of thumb is that it
should take you 2 -2 2/1 hours to set the runners course (if you are
walking and carrying a big bag of paper). Remember, the ones who
actually run are a bunch of masochists anyway. You can always set a
slightly shorter trail inside "the runners" loop with lots of short
cuts for the walkers.
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